Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Rated "E" for Everyone

As the summer has progressed, my gaming habits have taken a somewhat disturbing turn. After spending 150+ hours beating that behemoth Oblivion, I've taken to playing the fluffiest candy-coated games that I can find. First was "Beautiful Katamari," a terribly innocuous game where you push a ball around a bizarre japanscape while listening to even more bizarre Japanese pop music. Your goal is to roll as much stuff up as possible in the given timelimit. It takes minimal thought and is relatively stress-free. It's kind of like a Valium in disc form.

I would be tripping balls right now if I wasn't so sleepy

After, ahem, beating this game, which says a lot about my dedication to indulging my wussiest side, I've taken up with an old friend: Lego Star Wars. Again, a game that takes only a tiny bit of thought and very little skill. Now, it's a fun game, to be sure, but there's nothing remotely challenging about it. I'm attempting to get a 100% completion rate, which is tedious more than challenging, and I'm not sure why I'm doing it. I guess for the gamer points. I don't know. I feel like Oblivion, which may be my favorite game of all-time, has left me scarred and broken, a shell of my former gamer self.

Leia doesn't do it for me like she used to

When I'm not playing one of those softfests, I'm playing the Wii. Who knew that this would be the summer of Wii Sports? I've taken to playing with both know, like a bi-sexu...I mean ambidextrous. Strangely, I bat better from the left side in baseball, even though in real life if I batted left it would probably be the equivalent of a swinging bunt. And then there's Wii Fit. That's undoubtedly one of the weakest ways to workout in the whole world. It's absolutely better than nothing, and it's fun, but I don't get the sense that I'm going to lose any weight playing it unless I do so for two+ hours a day. Which is not happening.

Overweight? I really need my video game system to tell me that?

Now for a hypothetical and unrelated question: Imagine you have a day off of work. How much, per hour, would you need to be payed to do manual labor on that day for 12 hours? If your answer is "No amount of money is enough," then we're on the same page. If your answer is "I'll do it for free!" then you're probably Sarah.

Actually, I'm o.k. with drilling

Finally, the dog must be addressed. Sawyer had his first bath yesterday, and it would be a grave understatement to say that he was none-too-pleased. More humorously, we realized how much hair he really has. When he's wet he essentially looks like a glorified rat. Sarah wanted to take pictures, but I didn't want to embarrass him like that.

Everyone enjoys cuddling between my soft, pendulous breasts

A quick comment about living in a house - it is MUCH better than living in an apartment. I don't have to move the furniture anymore when I play Wii Sports. Also, we got some bikes. We've been riding said bikes around the neighborhood. Ironically, that makes me feel like a grown-up.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

This site is going to be the death of me

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Wait, they don't love you like I love you

Monday, July 21, 2008


So, we got a dog last night. He's the best dog ever. That's all I'm saying right now until I have the time to post something to do his awesomeness justice.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Favorite Video Games (Now with 90% more "Sequitur" Pictures!)

I hope you like lists and pictures.
This is basically a repost from something I posted somewhere...else.

From a screen saver actually called Mysterious Forest

Rather than list one game as my favorite, I have to list a series of games, all represented in a form in which a dash is actually just a loose association between games. And the order doesn't matter. And I left out some games. Or just their pictures.

Like so:

1) Zelda:Ocarina of Time - Fable - Oblivion

2) Final Fantasy III(VI) - Knights of the Old Republic - Mass Effect

3) Goldeneye - Metroid Prime - Portal - BioShock

4) Quake - Gears of War - COD4

5) Super Mario World (SNES) - Mario 64 - Paper Mario - GTAIV

6) Ogre Battle(SNES) - Baulder's Gate - Magic the Gathering: Battlegrounds - Kingdom Under Fire: The Crusaders
And this is just off the top of my head. If we went by system, then my eyes would start to bleed.
Here's a picture I made. Posting it for no reason. Only Arrested Development fans will like it.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

We're expecting! buy a dog as soon as we move into our new house, which should be on Saturday, really. Both my parents and Sarah's parents are coming up to help us move. Our parents rule! It's funny how when you're younger, you want to distance yourself from your parents, but the older you get, the more you realize how much you've needed them all along.

So, let's get to the real issue here - what to name the dog.

Here are some we're thinking of:

Snowball II
Hello Kitty
H.W. McBarkington III
Tobias (Toby)
Calpoly SLO
Laser Duck
Asian Food
Moutain Dew (only if the dog is extreme)
Old Spice
Katie Holmes
Fruit Fucker
Flu-like symptoms
Mr. Sparkle

Fantasy Team Changes

Spicer's Sandlot
C Russell Martin
(LAD - C,3B)
1B Adam LaRoche
(Pit - 1B)
2B Robinson Cano
(NYY - 2B)
3B Mike Lowell
(Bos - 3B)
(Tex - SS)
OF Carlos Quentin
(CWS - OF)
(Bos - OF)
OF B.J. Upton
(TB - 2B,OF)
Util Milton Bradley
(Tex - OF)
SP Tim Lincecum (THE FREAK!)
(SF - SP)
SP Jamie Moyer
(Phi - SP)
SP Tim Wakefield
(Bos - SP)
RP Shaun Marcum
(Tor - SP,RP) DL
RP Joakim Soria
(KC - RP)
P John Lackey
(LAA - SP)
P Ted Lilly
(ChC - SP)
P Ubaldo Jimenez
(Col - SP)
DL David Ortiz
(Bos - 1B) DL
BN Dave Bush
(Mil - SP)
BN Andy Sonnanstine
(TB - SP)
BN Kevin Slowey
(Min - SP)
BN Erik Bedard
(Sea - SP) DL
BN Tim Hudson
(Atl - SP)
BN Derek Lowe
(LAD - SP)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Too lazy

My posting has really fallen off after a nice resurgence. I'm posting this survey because I'm lazy.

If a stranger looked in your closet, what would they think?
Most of those clothes don't fit anymore, do they?
Do you want to be married right now?
Ever paid more than a hundred bucks on a pair of jeans?
Other people buy me jeans. I can't bring myself to spend money on clothes.
What's bothering you right now?
I'm going to have to move a lot of stuff over the next few days.
Do you want children?
No comment.
Does it bother you when someone says they'll call you and they don't?
It depends on why they're calling me. If it's just to talk, no. If it's because they owe me fifty bucks, then yes.
Do you like to sleep?
Not exactly. I like to put off sleep. I'm usually up until four AM every night during the summer. I love the night. I can read and play video games in total solitude. Pretty awesome.
What was the last movie that you watched?
I can't recall, but I just watched season one of arrested development via netflix. I love that show.
Do you get emotional easily?
Unfortunately. I'm o.k. at hiding it, though, so it doesn't effect me socially as much as it potentially could.
Your best friend is driving next to you, what do you do?
What kind of fucked up two-steering-wheel-car are we driving here?
Who is the most attractive female on your Myspace friends list?
Sarah. My wife. That one.
Congratulations! You just had a daughter!! whats her name?
What was the last thing you cried about?
My students' graduation.
Actually, it was my sister's wedding.

When you buy something and your change is 2 cents, you keep it or tell them to keep it?
I drop it on the floor so I can watch the pesants fight for it.
Have you ever blocked someone on MySpace before?
Yeah. They're always allegedly girls in their early twenties who want me to check out their page. *rolls eyes*
Are you happy?
I'm on summer break. What do you think?
Do you like pickles?
No, not really. I know Mitch Hedberg has a joke about this, but I can't remember what it was.
What are your plans for the weekend?
Moving into my new house and interacting awkwardly with Sarah's mom.
How many hours did you sleep last night?
7. I went to bed a little after four and woke up a little after 11. That's seven, right?
What would you do if someone told you they liked you?
Throw scalding water on their face.
The President of the United States called you:
I don't have time for him.
You got invited to be on a reality TV show:
No thanks.
You witnessed a murder:
A random stranger offered you candy:
Does he have a van?
MySpace and Facebook closed:
Your date throws up on you:
Scalding water. On her face.
Someone cut off chunk of your hair:
Shave the rest. Join white power gang.
Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:
I would hope he would sing me a song, a song to keep me warm...
You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call:
Penny Widmore.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Arrested Development!

This might be the best show on TV not called LOST. Oh wait, it got cancelled. Not LOST, Arrested Development.