Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Rated "E" for Everyone



As the summer has progressed, my gaming habits have taken a somewhat disturbing turn. After spending 150+ hours beating that behemoth Oblivion, I've taken to playing the fluffiest candy-coated games that I can find. First was "Beautiful Katamari," a terribly innocuous game where you push a ball around a bizarre japanscape while listening to even more bizarre Japanese pop music. Your goal is to roll as much stuff up as possible in the given timelimit. It takes minimal thought and is relatively stress-free. It's kind of like a Valium in disc form.



I would be tripping balls right now if I wasn't so sleepy

After, ahem, beating this game, which says a lot about my dedication to indulging my wussiest side, I've taken up with an old friend: Lego Star Wars. Again, a game that takes only a tiny bit of thought and very little skill. Now, it's a fun game, to be sure, but there's nothing remotely challenging about it. I'm attempting to get a 100% completion rate, which is tedious more than challenging, and I'm not sure why I'm doing it. I guess for the gamer points. I don't know. I feel like Oblivion, which may be my favorite game of all-time, has left me scarred and broken, a shell of my former gamer self.



Leia doesn't do it for me like she used to

When I'm not playing one of those softfests, I'm playing the Wii. Who knew that this would be the summer of Wii Sports? I've taken to playing with both hands...you know, like a bi-sexu...I mean ambidextrous. Strangely, I bat better from the left side in baseball, even though in real life if I batted left it would probably be the equivalent of a swinging bunt. And then there's Wii Fit. That's undoubtedly one of the weakest ways to workout in the whole world. It's absolutely better than nothing, and it's fun, but I don't get the sense that I'm going to lose any weight playing it unless I do so for two+ hours a day. Which is not happening.



Overweight? I really need my video game system to tell me that?

Now for a hypothetical and unrelated question: Imagine you have a day off of work. How much, per hour, would you need to be payed to do manual labor on that day for 12 hours? If your answer is "No amount of money is enough," then we're on the same page. If your answer is "I'll do it for free!" then you're probably Sarah.


Actually, I'm o.k. with drilling

Finally, the dog must be addressed. Sawyer had his first bath yesterday, and it would be a grave understatement to say that he was none-too-pleased. More humorously, we realized how much hair he really has. When he's wet he essentially looks like a glorified rat. Sarah wanted to take pictures, but I didn't want to embarrass him like that.



Everyone enjoys cuddling between my soft, pendulous breasts

A quick comment about living in a house - it is MUCH better than living in an apartment. I don't have to move the furniture anymore when I play Wii Sports. Also, we got some bikes. We've been riding said bikes around the neighborhood. Ironically, that makes me feel like a grown-up.

7 Comments:

At 5:17 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to say that I like doing work around the house. I think they call it "nesting"... but we bought a house, not a nest. Anyway, good v-game descriptions. I don't feel relaxed when I play Katamari. The ticking time clock stresses me out.
-Shakezula

 
At 11:34 AM , Blogger Huge Larry said...

Your life will once again be forfeit when Bethesda releases Fallout 3. It looks like a post-apocalyptic hybrid of Oblivion and Bioshock.

Trailer

 
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