Thursday, April 23, 2009

I called it

I knew Utah would win that game against the Lakers, but I was in denial when they had that big lead. I wanted to be wrong so badly, but I knew the Jazz would take at least one in Utah. Kobe was off. Bynum had too many fouls too quickly. Worst of all, the Lakers only put up 86 points, which is garbage by their standards. I hate the deep burn of watching your team lose. But, I suppose, that's why it's so satisfying when they win. Being a fan is a strange concept anyway, if you really think about it. Go ahead, think about it, because I refuse to elaborate.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Top Ten Most Searched Items on Yahoo!

Heidi Klum
She's the type of supermodel that I don't really care for. Does that make me weird? I don't know, she just looks too tall and perfect to actually be enjoyable. I don't like the lack of meat on her bones or her "it's o.k. that I'm dumb because I'm hot" personality. Did I mention that their are some days when I really hate my fellow human.
Rosetta Stone
Is this, like, that thing they sell on TV to help you learn a new language or is it the actual stone? I don't know, but it's interesting to think that the double-meaning involved in this particular phrase gives it a kind of automatic advantage over other searched items. Do you think that perhaps both the program and the artifact were both heavily searched today? I mean, not as much as Heidi Klum of course...
Gabrielle Anwar
Anwar sounds like a made-up name.
Weekend Getaways
This, I don't understand in the economic saucepan in which we all fry. But, on the other hand (you like how I used that without the "On one hand part"? I'm a bad writter.), I've heard that this is spring breakish time or something so I guess it makes sense.
Yankee Stadium
The Dodgers game tonight was pretty great, except for their inability to win this game by 10 runs. They left at least 12 guys on base, and their RISP was horrible. They kinda didn't deserve to win, but this is when Broxton came in and struck out 4 of the last 5 batters.
Keshia Knight Pulliam
I like Keira Knightly. She's a good looking British woman.
State of Play
There actually are some good actors in this movie, but since the last movie I saw in the theaters was Tropic Thunder, I think I'm going to miss this one. Plus, I don't think Sarah, in her current superprego state would want to sit through a movie right now.
John Madden
Yup, boom, he's gone. I will miss his circuitous statements of the obvious whilst watching the football. He'll live on in video games. I'm sure they're still going to make his game using his name. To a gamer, it's almost irrelevant that he's a sportscaster. It's more of a name recognition thing, plus EA owns exclusive rights to the official NFL roster so they can call it "Mardoons NFL 2010!" and no one will care or do a damn thing about it.
Wedding Invitations
Sarah sent all of these out for us, but the question, as always, is "Why is this in the top ten most searched items?" It's spectacularly mysterious and that's why I like this list thingy I've been doing.
Electric Cars
Al Gore is pumped. People are all about going green. I wonder if it's actually going to make a difference or if we're just trying to make ourselves feel more important than we actually are.
Lost was great this week.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Top Ten Most Searched Items on Yahoo!

Padma Lakshmi
Now, I suppose I'm not supposed to think about such things and especially write about such things in my blog, but fuck that. It's obnoxious when you see an attractive woman, then you walk past her and a terrible plume of perfume smacks you in the face like a line drive from the bat of Jeff Francour. A momentarily good looking woman becomes a middle reliever at best.
Callie Thorne
I remember quite well one of the best parts of my honeymoon - leaving England out of a port by the cliffs of Dover and heading towards Calais. I felt like C.C. Sabathia when he got traded to the Brewers last year and took his team to the playoffs.
Lana Clarkson
The only thing that comes to my mind when I see the word Lana is that hot girl on Smallville - I think her name is Kristen Kruk. She's certainly more attractive than John Kruk and she's definitely a closer on the level of Brad Lidge.
IRS Refund Status
How depressing. We got nothing. Everyone went on and on about how much money we were going to get back because of the interest we're paying on our mortgage. Everyone acted like we would be able to sign free agents like the Yankees.
(I'm done with baseball analogies for the time being.)
Free Samples
I think that Pau Gasol is as close as you can get to being a supremely good player without actually cracking that ceiling. I'd dare say he's one of the top-ten most valuable players in the league. I forsee a Lakers/Cavs final, and that's going to be fun. I think the Cavs might have a better overall team, but if Gasol, Odom, Kobe, and Bynam all play like they can, I don't even think the Cavs' depth will save them. Naturally, this is coming from a highly-biased Lakers fan who believes that they are a much different team than they were last year when they rolled over against the Celts. But we'll see. I think the Jazz might take one in Utah from the Lakers. If they take onee at Staples, then we should worry.The Magic are overrated. Period. The Celts are without Garnett. It's hard to see anyone from the east taking down the Cavs.
Prepaid Cell Phones
Why not just have a normal cell phone? What's the deal with Prepaid cell phones? I dunno, what am I supposed to say about this?
Leftover Ham Recipes
Why this would be a popular search is beyond me. Is it because of Easter or something? Did an extraordinary amount of pig flesh get cooked this week and if so why??? I think it is searches like this that made me interested in using the top ten search items as a wellspring for deep, meaningful online comments. That's worked out.
Jackie Robinson
I love baseball. I know, it's slow, it's boring, blah, blah...but it's not! It's like the sports version of one of those "magic eye" pictures - if you stare at it long enough, you figure out what it is and you get a cool sensation of optical accomplishment. I think baseball works the same way, because the more that I watch it, the more I appreciate all that goes into it.
I just don't like cell phones. I never have. I don't know exactly why. It feels strangely unnatural to be in everyone's range at all times, but I guess that's a good thing, right?
Whatever this is, I bet A-Rod and Roger Clemens never took it. Sorry, had to be said.
It does sound somewhat like a weight-loss drug though, so I guess I'll look it up and find out. Brb. Wow! It's an anti-alcoholic medication (I didn't even know they had that!) and it's been used to stop kleptomania! I LOVE YAHOO SEARCH!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Things in my brain right now

For some reason, after months of incredible gameplay, I decided to give the so-called "Versus" mode a go in Left4Dead. And, just when I thought this game couldn't get any more accidictive, there's this. Having played this for the last couple of hours, I have to say, it's almost like an entirely different game. Valve you clever bastards.

Here I am, in Spring Break Limbo, waiting for Paige to be born, knowing it could happen any moment, but wondering if Sarah will actually go full-term (May 6th). Who knows? It's kinda difficult waiting, but I can't imagine what it's like for her! I'm not down to find out.

Baseball season has started and the Dodgers haven't looked completely terrible, but they should really crush a team like the Padres. I have a feeling that once their bats heat up, there shouldn't be any problem. They scored 11 yesterday, which gives me some hope. I love having the MLB package. It's a wonderfully relaxing/enjoyable experience to watch Dodgers games. I'm not sure what it is...

Speaking of which, I'm all about Fantasy sports right now, as I'm about to win 1st place in both of my Basketball leagues and third in Hockey. This is a good way to keep myself distracted. My fantasy baseball team cranked out 100 strikeouts from pitching this week in 92 innings, which is insane. Man, sports are one of those things that keeps me sane now. They're almost more comforting than music, something I never thought I'd say in my teens and twenties.

If I'm lucky, my knee isn't broken. I slammed it into our basketball hoop pole about 2 weeks ago, and it's still pretty messed up. I'm trying to take it easy. The problem is that I decided to play a couple of basketball game on that knee a week ago or so, and that really set me back. I'm old.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

If you aren't listening to this with head phones on, then you're doing it wrong.

Sunday, April 05, 2009


I thought I was going to lose both of my fantasy basketball games, but I think I just made it into the finals in both leagues.

Yes, I have two fantasy basketball teams.

Stop laughing.

Fuck you.


That last post seems a little foolish after the Cavs/Spurs game this morning. Damn Lebron is good. And the rest of the Cavs looked great as well.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Why the Lakers are the team to other sport cliche

Watching the Lakers/Houston game tonight, it became more apparent than ever that Kobe is insanely good when he wants to be. The last few minutes he was in during the fourth quarter were some of the best I've seen all season. He just murdered the Rockets.

They had been hanging around all game - and they are quite good, I might add - but then Kobe comes in and the following sequence of events took place:
1) Kobe hits a ridiculous jump shot from the baseline while behind the backboard.
2) Kobe hits a hotly contested three point shot.
3) Kobe comes down on the very next possession and hits another hotly contested three point shot.

This is why the Lakers, and not the Cavs (who were blown out by the Magic tonight after losing to the Washington-Goddamned-Wizards last night) will win the NBA title. I don't care that the Cavs have only lost once at home. That one loss came against the Lakers. When Kobe decides to win a game now, the Lakers usually do. Watching the Cavs the last two nights, Lebron, as good as he is, isn't quite there yet.

I think the Lakers will come through this year in the playoffs. They're considerably harder than they were last year, as they seem to know how to hold on in close games now. They're defense is much better. They really lost to the Celtics last year in part to their lack of aggressiveness in the front court - that's not there anymore. Odom pulls down 20 rebounds sometimes, and Pau has a bunch of awesome moves in his post game. Their bench is tougher. I think this is the year that Kobe finally gets the monkey off of his back for never having won a championship without Shaq.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

A few quick thoughts about video games

The police officer at my school continues to blame shootings on video games. *Sigh*

They should not make Bioshock 2. It's going to be made, but it's a bad idea. The reason we loved that game was because of the story and the originality, and most importantly, the grand sense of closure and resolution. (There were a lot of "and"s in that sentence because I've been reading Hemmingway.)

I can't decide which has a higher replay value: Fallout 3 or Oblivion.

Only 6% of PS3 owners have purchased Killzone 2 so far. (For purpose of comparision, over 50% of Xbox 360 owners have Halo 3.) That's ridiculous given this game's unbelievable reviews. I bet it's great. I don't have a PS3, but if I did, I'd definitely have that game by now. What's that? You PS3 fanboys spent all your money on blu-rays and HDMI cables?

Left4Dead is the most delicious ice cream I've ever had that's not ice cream. How long can Valve continue to kick everyone else's ass (beside maybe Bioware and Bethesda) in the game design world before they rest on their laurels and release an average game instead of one of the best games ever?

I hope my sister comes up to visit before my baby is born so we can have a marathon Super Mario World session.

Thank you, Rock Band, for letting me download the early-90's (Josh with acne and a high-pitched voice) classic, Ten, by that fucking awesome underrated band Pearl Jam. The backlash they faced was entirely undeserved, and I hope a bunch of kids download that album and appreciate it.

There's this thing going on around facebook about the best five games of all-time. That's a hard thing to do.

Off the top-of-my-head:

1) Super Metroid

2) Super Mario World

3)Final Fantasy IV (FF2 on the Super Nintendo)

4) A Link to the Past

5) Mario Kart

Half way through that previous list I realized that I was just picking the best games on the Super Nes, but I decided to go with it.